Once or twice we may have felt the little green monster called “jealousy” rearing it’s head into our peaceful lives causing havoc and misunderstanding between you and your special someone in a relationship, so if you are interested in knowing how to get rid of it, here is a short article how.
But first, here let us get to define the word jealousy. What is it really? Is what you are feeling truly jealousy? When you are jealous, you feel threatened, comparing yourself to someone you think is superior to you. When you are jealous, you feel like you are going to lose your signifant other to someone else.
Personally when I feel jealous, I lose the appetite to eat, I lose sleep, and I also can’t seem to sit still. I want to keep moving and walking around. All I’m doing is thinking about the possibilities or situations in which I could lose my signifant other. As I said above, jealousy is the fear of losing our partners so we think about it and think about it.
A little jealousy is healthy since it is normal to feel afraid of losing something or someone we value but too much jealousy is bad for our relationship and also for ourselves. When we feel jealous, our body activates the body’s stress response. You may experience an increase in heart rate, an elevated blood pressure, poor appetite, increased cortisol (the stress hormone), sleeping problems, and even depression.
The best thing to do would be to learn how to get rid of them or if you can’t at least manage them in a healthy way. You don’t have to let the little green monster rule your life. Here are some techniques that you could try:
• DON’T DO ANYTHING RASH ESPECIALLY IF YOUR FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY ARE HIGH. You might say or do something that you will regret. Let yourself feel jealous but don’t do anything about it. Internalize the possible reason why you feel jealous and if you really have a reason to feel that way. Most of the time feelings of jealousy could have been triggered by an event.
• IF IT BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH, be ready to talk to your partner about it. Do the rational thing and talk it out. Let your partner know that you have been feeling jealous but don’t say it in a way that is accussing to your partner. Most of the time, our partners are clueless that you are already feeling jealous of something or someone. If you are not dating someone or you don’t have an exclusive agreement with someone but you feel jealous, then it may be best to keep it to yourself or distance yourself for a bit. Things might get awkward if you bring it up to them when you aren’t dating each other.
• REFRAIN FROM OVERTHINKING AS IT ALMOST ALWAYS LEADS YO TROUBLE. If you haven’t talked it out with your significant other yet, please do every thing in your power to refrain from overthinking. Humans have this tendency to think of the worst in a situation whether we like to or not. Science says it is a way of protecting ourselves.
• BE CLEAR WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS. What are your limitations with other people? What made you feel jealous? Was he or she really paying more attention to another person than you? Communication is always the key. I know it can be scary to talk it over and to spill your vulnerabilities but talking to your partner can be a way of solving things or misunderstandings. Talking about things also opens the door for your significant other to reassure you of their love and commitment. Maybe then at the end of the day you will come to realize that you were jealous about nothing.
Jealousy may be a little hard to manage especially if it is your first time dealing with it but it is pretty manageable. And no worries, I believe we have all done some pretty stupid, reckless things when we felt jealous. I know I have back in college. Jealousy can almost be instantly relieved by hearing our significant other’s reassurances and sweet nothings. It is a great feeling when we are sure of our partner’s feelings and commitment for us.
Be careful though! As I said above, too much jealousy can be destructive. If you don’t know how to manage it well, your partner might feel like you don’t trust him or her. Don’t be with your partner if you can’t trust him or her. It might also indicate that you have a low self esteem which isn’t exactly a good thing. Keep in mind that if your partner wanted to be in a relationship with someone else, they would grab their things and leave you.
Again, communicate with your partner and let them know the things they are doing to make you feel jealous. It is okay to feel jealous by the little things. I used to feel jealous when my partner would like a selfie of someone she dated in the past. Silly, I know. I just keep reminding myself that she is with me now and that is what matters.
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