Nowadays we often see posts about #relationshipgoals in our social media feed, but what is the only relationship goal you and your partner needs? Goals are fun. They help us keep our eyes on the price especially if you are an easily distractible person. Goals help us remember why we are doing what we are doing at the first place. What are some of the #RelationshipGoals that you have seen online:
Thanks to Facebook and Twitter for these images.
The problem with today’s relationship goals is the fact that most are using it as their own goals… And let’s face it, most of the relationship goals you see on social media are a little bit shallow and short-lived. Yes, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may have been “Relationship Goals” but what worked for them may not really work for you. If you put your relationship expectations on the the things you see on social media, you could be cheating yourself of real happiness. This will only give you expectations that your partner may not be able to reach, thus could create problems in your relationship that shouldn’t have been there in the first place. For example, you see this #RelationshipGoal photo wherein the girl receives a very expensive jewelry set from her boyfriend and it also comes with a sweet long hand written letter. Girls just melt when it comes to gestures like that and you let out a sigh to release the little fluttering of your heart.
“I wish my boyfriend would do this for me.” You tell yourself and then you decide to give him a hint by sharing the post. Girls, there are guys who can get the hints you drop but they are quite few so it would be better for you to just say it. Back to the example, so you shared the post and your boyfriend didn’t even like the post.
Did he see it? Maybe.
So you keep on waiting and waiting for his surprise. You are always on the look out for when he will whip out a box of expensive jewelry with a handwritten note, but it never happens because that’s not something your boyfriend would do. How will you feel? You’ll feel a pang of jealousy and you’ll start to resent your boyfriend.
“Why can’t he do this for me? It’s not that hard!”
You’ll start comparing your relationship with those that you see online. “Wow! Her boyfriend is so sweet!” You mutter to yourself as you hit the like button. You’ll start to be discontented with the relationship that you have.
However don’t get me wrong, it isn’t bad to have a relationship goal. Sometimes it is even helpful. The important thing to keep in mind is that the two of you should be aware of it and that you should agree to do it together. If your relationship goal is to eventually get married in the future, then shouldn’t your partner at least have a vague idea about that? What if he or she doesn’t want to get married? Good for you if you’ll be able to change your partner’s mind but what if you can’t? Then you won’t be happy in that relationship. Remember though that your relationship goal should not pressure you or stress you out too much but it should motivate you to be better as a partner. The only relationship goal that you and your partner needs is to do whatever it takes to keep the love burning.
With love comes the other things like respect, quality time, tokens of affections or gifts, honesty, and commitment. As a couple, you shouldn’t lose sight of why you both got together in the first place and that is because you have strong feelings for one another. Of course, commitment cannot be based on emotions alone because emotions are constantly changing. Commitment is a decision that a couple has to make daily. For me, that is the best relationship goal that a couple could have. The top priority! So don’t hesitate to communicate what you need from a relationship because it would do wonders! At least then both of you will have an idea on what the other wants and you can think it over whether or not you will be able to fulfill it.
Other people would say that the only relationship goal a couple should have would be to get married. This is not necessarily true for everyone. There are some who don’t really believe in marriage and that’s okay! If you think about it though, marriage simply means that you are both committed to stay together until you die… Or until the day one of you files for a divorce. Hopefully that won’t happen for you!
How do you keep yourself committed in your relationship?
1.) Remember why you are in the relationship in the first place. The sparks eventually go away as both of you falls into a comfortable routine. I know of a person who breaks up with their partner every time the relationship loses it’s spark. If you are in a relationship just for the chase and initial excitement, then don’t expect to be in a long term relationship.
2.) Just because I’m saying that the spark goes away doesn’t mean that you’ll just leave it and do nothing. One of the best things you can do for your relationship is to keep the romance alive. Let your partner know every now and then how much they mean to you or how sexy they looked in their black shirt. Buy them little gifts that remind you of them.
3.) Respect each other. This means no name calling, not saying anything that could bring them down, not embarrassing them in front of other people, etc. This may be hard (I struggle with this too!) but even if you are upset, always try to speak from a place of love.
4.) Be honest to each other. Honesty is still the best policy. Be transparent. He or she is your partner! He or she is your best friend! Talk to each other – and I don’t mean the occasional small talk.
5.) Be affectionate in your words and actions! Leave little notes in their car or bag, grab and hold their hand once in a while…
6.) Resolve any wrinkles. I beg to disagree with that advice that you have to fix everything immediately or to not let the day end while you are both still fighting… That may be true but there are instances wherein both of you should take some time out because the emotions are still high and hazy. This could worsen the argument.
7.) Compromise. Never let it be a lose lose… Because then no one is happy! Always try to meet half-way so that both of you are happy and if both of you are happy, so will the relationship be!
What are your relationship goals with your partner? Would you mind sharing it with us?
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